Pantoum-ming Again

The pantoum-style poem seems to suit me fine...I will eventually want to move on but today will share another pantoum I wrote in response to a workshop assignment.

Each of us thought of  five words that have weight to us. One of mine was "process."  Each participant thought of the first word that came to mind when they heard "process" and I wrote each of their words down. This gave me the following word list, which we were challenged to use in a poem. It's a great exercise and I was fairly pleased with the result. 

Poem extracted from the following word list:   Process, design, progress, mind, journey, maze, time

Too Slow

by Susie Talbot

She tried to pry open a rosebud

To make a flower sooner

Because it takes too much time

Wanted to see the flower

To make a flower sooner

She forced the rosebud’s progress

Wanted to see the flower

The opening process too slow

She forced the rosebud’s progress

To see its lacy design

The opening process too slow

Wanted to rush its journey

To see its lacy design

With more than her mind

Wanted to rush its journey

Tore through its maze of petals

With more than her mind

Because it takes too much time

Tore through its maze of petals

She tried to pry open a rosebud

Okay now.  The next challenge was to turn this poem into free verse rather than a pantoum with the repeating lines.  So this is the result of that.

Free Verse:

Too Slow

by Susie Talbot

She tried to pry open a rosebud

To make a flower sooner

Because it takes too much time
The opening process too slow

Wanted to see the flower

She forced the rosebud’s progress

To see its lacy design

With more than her mind

Wanted to rush its journey

Tore through its maze of petals

She tried to pry open a rosebud

Which one do you like best--the first or the second version?  Thanks for your input.

Where Have I Been?

Where haven't I been is the answer...5 week trek to Australia nearly ruined this blog!  We had a great time, then Christmas came with our wonderful children and their children...amazing families, and then, and then, and then. So now it's January 16 (I know that because it's on the bottom left-hand corner of my screen).

I have continued to write, and have since been to a poetry workshop where we were taught different forms of poetry. I learned the Pantoum and P and I are good buddies now. Its form repeats lines and seems to work well for me. (Those of you who know me, know how adept I am at repeating myself.)

I've written several pantoums, but am ready to share "Poem Whittler" with you. Hoping you enjoy it and, if it interests you poets out there, pick up the Pantoum pattern and send me one of your poems.

Pantoum

Poem Whittler

by Susie Talbot

I must say I love, as a poet

When lively rainbow thoughts

Tumble out of a rubble of words

Onto a page, exposing their wily truths

When lively rainbow thoughts

Flow from a willing pen

Onto a page, exposing their wily truths

A thing called a poem is born

Flow from a willing pen

The poet holds in her hand

A thing called a poem is born

And creation repeats its song

The poet holds in her hand

A mighty and precious gift

And creation repeats its song

From Creator to poet to you

A mighty and precious gift

Tumbles out of a rubble of words

From Creator to poet to you

I must say I love, as a poet